This internal battle has me on edge Easily tempered and rage rears its ugly head Try to swallow nails [...]]]> Doing the things I do not want to do
Telling myself no, I am not, all the while I am
Tired, frustrated, fed up I want to explode
I look in the mirror and nausea sets in when I see the stranger within

This internal battle has me on edge
Easily tempered and rage rears its ugly head
Try to swallow nails and smile

I think to speak kindly
But venomous strikes come out
My hearts yearns to apologize
Pride steps in takes my voice away

Distance of mind is between me and God
Blindness is no more, fully seeing its effect
I hear a voice within screaming, “Come to Me”
Life: family, demands, obligations, and hobbies
Drown out the screams within

I bow my head in shame
Hit my pillow saying tomorrow will be a better day
Getting worse day by day
Weight is a feeling within

Quickly sinking, staring at the life saver above
I reach and kick but to no effect
I look and see people all around
Scarred from childhood
Keeps everyone at a distance
Hard to let people in
Loneliness a feeling within

The accuser accuses
Failure is a hard pill to swallow
I want to cuss, scream, and find myself at the bottom of a bottle
Worthless is a feeling from within

Knowing where I need to go
Confused as to why I have not gone
Need to move, nothing stops

Deeper and deeper I go
Starting to fear the point of no return
Doubting my ability to get back
My dilemma is to fight or die
What’s at stake?

Anger builds
Desire to physically take up arms but can’t
It’s spiritual not physical

It’s hard is to release my anger on my knees
It’s hard to serve others
It’s hard staying obedient in society of self indulgence
It’s hard to see what is not seen
It’s hard to hear what is not heard
It’s hard to guard your eyes and ears
It’s hard giving your life up for another

Something stirs within
Won’t let me quit
Grit my teeth, pick myself up
He’s not going out like that
I am not giving up
I am not afraid to take a stand

Put my blindfold on, for eyes lie
Plug my ears, muffling voices of distraction
Suit up
Clear my mind
Listening to the still small voice within
Forward I march

Here are some images of the backpacks I will be ordering for $6. They have a cell phone holder and a water bottle holder. The scripture is attached to the zipper on a tag to be removed. They are really nice backpacks.

School Supply Lists Backpacks (1st – 6th) a total of 433 backpacks needed: 1) unisex backpack [...]]]> MAD4Christ is organizing its first community outreach, in the Lincoln Elementary school zone, to help families in need. We are partnering with brothers and sisters of Christ, churches, and other community outreaches to help serve this neighborhood. Please read below to see the need.

School Supply Lists
Backpacks (1st – 6th) a total of 433 backpacks needed:
1) unisex backpack x1
2) speckled (composition) notebook wide rule x1
3) wide rule loose leaf paper x 1
4) no.2 Pencil packs x 2
5) black pens x 1

Backpacks (Pre-K/Kindergarten) a total of 115 backpacks needed:
1) unisex backpack x1
2) speckled (composition) notebook wide rule x1
3) wide rule loose leaf paper x 1
4) no.2 pencil packs x 2
5) disinfectant Wipes x 1

1. I request you donate either money to go towards backpacks and supplies or donate one or more backpacks with all the requested supplies. This makes it easier on me to make sure every backpack has the appropriate supplies and/or all supplies are in a backpack.
2. You can either give your donations to me or if you prefer through my local church, House of Prayer International.
   1. you can donate online at www.hopi.cc
   2. scroll down and click online giving. Then click give online now.
   3. you will need to create an user account (New User) and then log in.
   4. the online donation is secure. Please place the donation amount in the HOPI Ministries category. Fill out the remaining information and select One-time payment (this is default).
   5. then please email me and let me who you are and the amount you donated so I can let the church know to set it aside for this outreach. My email is mad4christ@ymail.com
3. IF YOU PLAN ON DONATING PLEASE REPLY LETTING ME KNOW WHAT YOU PLAN ON GIVING…SO I CAN OBTAIN COUNTS ACCORDINGLY.

What are other ways you can help?

1. Prayer! Pray that the love of Christ will shine forth. Pray that souls will be saved. Pray against racism, poverty, and pride. Pray that God works miracles in peoples lives.
2. For you who work in an office in the (Monroe, LA/W.Monroe, LA area), if you would please ask your co-workers if they would like to participate and take up an office collection. I will work to accommodate you and pick up the backpacks or cash donations.
3. I can use cookies donations and kool-aid
4. volunteer – I will need people to help set up and tear down. I will need people to serve cookies and drinks, and people to work the registration booths and distribution booths.

I will need all donations by Wednesday August 4, 2010 because the Outreach is August 7, 2010.

Backpack/Cash donation drop off location:
House of Prayer International
5770 Frontage Rd
Monroe, LA 71201
(318)323-6405
Monday – Thursday 10AM – 2PM

Each backpack/supplies will cost approximately $20 at Wal-Mart prices.

All extra backpacks we will first be given to participating churches that have needy families within them then to Lincoln Elementary. If there are any remaining cash, it will be given to the Kingsway Community Center GED program. If you have any questions feel free to email me at mad4christ@ymail.com.

Proverbs 25:28; 2 Timothy 1:7

“If you would learn self-mastery, begin by yielding yourself to the One Great Master.” –Johann Friedrich Lobstein

IN WORD The contemporary church is plagued with problems of self-discipline. Sinful behaviors have infiltrated our congregations possibly at unprecedented levels. One reason [...]]]> “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control”
Proverbs 25:28

Proverbs 25:28; 2 Timothy 1:7

“If you would learn self-mastery, begin by yielding yourself to the One Great Master.”
–Johann Friedrich Lobstein

IN WORD The contemporary church is plagued with problems of self-discipline. Sinful behaviors have infiltrated our congregations possibly at unprecedented levels. One reason self-control is such a problem for so many Christians is that it feels like a work of the flesh. We are told to live Spirit-filled lives, so we become passive. We have incorrectly assumed that any effort on our part is “works,” a product of the flesh and a symptom of legalism. We end up with a faith without works, and as we find out, that kind of faith is dead (James 2:15-20).

Self-control is perhaps the most confusing of all the fruits of the Spirit. How can it involve the self and the Spirit at the same time? If it’s self-control, how can it be Spirit-control? It can’t. But, contrary to popular teaching, the Bible never tells us to be controlled by the Spirit, at least not in the sense that we lose our personality and will. We are to be born of the Spirit, filled with the Spirit, led by the Spirit, inspired by the Spirit, and sealed by the Spirit. But we are not controlled by the Spirit. The Spirit enables us to have self-control.

A lack of self-control will cause us to neglect necessary disciplines like prayer, Bible study, contemplation, evangelism, and more. It will also cause us to indulge even godly desires in inappropriate ways. A lack of discipline distorts work, sexuality, entertainment, nutrition, and stewardship of time and money. If our lives were compared to an ancient city, self-indulgence would be the weakness in our walls. Erosion will eventually cause our protection to collapse and allow our enemies to raid.

IN DEED A life of godly discipline is useful to God. He can accomplish much with it, because it can steward His vast resources appropriately. The uncontrolled life squanders God’s treasures–spiritual and material–and invites attack. At all costs, let the Spirit empower you to learn self-control. It is the key to managing all other fruitfulness.

Philippians 4:4-5

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing is so gentle as real strength.” -St. Francis de Sales

IN WORD David was gentle toward his rebellious son (2 Samuel 18:5). Jesus came into this world with a spirit of gentleness (Matthew 11:29; Matthew 21:5). Paul had a [...]]]> “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”
Philippians 4:5

Philippians 4:4-5

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing is so gentle as real strength.”
-St. Francis de Sales

IN WORD David was gentle toward his rebellious son (2 Samuel 18:5). Jesus came into this world with a spirit of gentleness (Matthew 11:29; Matthew 21:5). Paul had a tender attitude toward the churches he had founded (2 Corinthians 10:1; 1 Thessalonians 2:7). Throughout Scripture, we are instructed to put on gentleness as though it’s a required garment. Why? Because God has been gentle with us. It’s who He is, and we are to be like Him.

We may not envision God as being gentle. We read of His anger toward humanity before the ark was built; of His command for Israel to ruthlessly conquer the Canaanites; of His judgments on Israel in the prophets; and of His harsh bloodied, beaten Jesus. But all of this points to His absolute, uncompromising, holy purity. His heart is thoroughly gentle. When our confession and humility allow for His gentleness, He always chooses it over His judgment.

Have you felt His gentle touch? When you received mercy rather than condemnation, it was there. Every day when He feeds you, clothes you, and surrounds you with air to breathe, you feel His tender provision. If there is anyone out there who loves you as you are, you have seen a reflection of His gentle nature. In Jesus, we know a gentle God.

IN DEED If the fruits of the Spirit are God’s display of His character through the church to a searching world, then gentleness is one of the most needed elements of that display. The world does not know of this gentle God–it portrays Him as either viciously judgmental or blandly irrelevant. It has not seen enough examples of righteous, patient, redemptive gentleness. Be one of those examples. Find a hurting person and demonstrate God’s gentle touch.

Psalm 89:1-8

“The faithful person lives constantly with God.” -Clement of Alexandria

IN WORD If you were to do a biblical word study on “faithfulness,” you would find something mildly surprising: The vast majority of biblical references to faithfulness are [...]]]> “O’ Lord God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O’ Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you.”
Psalm 89:8

Psalm 89:1-8

“The faithful person lives constantly with God.”
-Clement of Alexandria

IN WORD If you were to do a biblical word study on “faithfulness,” you would find something mildly surprising: The vast majority of biblical references to faithfulness are about God, not about us. God’s faithfulness is an established fact in Scripture; man’s is not. We are encouraged to be faithful, but we are always found wanting. God, however, is constant. His faithfulness reaches to the skies (see Psalm 36:5; Psalm 57:10; 108:4), and His love and faithfulness are semantically paired so often that they are clearly intertwined. His love is unchanging; there is nothing fickle about it–not even from generation to generation (Psalm 100:5). True faithfulness endures forever (Psalm 117:2). It can do no other.

This is why faithfulness must be a fruit of the Spirit. It cannot be of the flesh. Humanity measures faithfulness in terms of months and years; God measures it in terms of eternity. We cannot maintain such commitment unless the power to do so is given from above. It simply is not within us to be covenant-keepers for long. Nearly every biblical covenant originates in heaven and is maintained unilaterally by the covenant- keeping God. His faithfulness alone is everlasting.

IN DEED If you needed any sense of security about your salvation, there it is. God keeps you because he is faithful. He knows the fickleness of those He pursues, and He pursues us nonetheless. He knew how unstable we were before He committed to keep us.

But we cannot remain unstable, not if we’re filled with His Spirit. The flesh is weak, but we no longer live according to the flesh. Never use the excuse, “I’m only human.” You are human with the Spirit of the living God dwelling within. Faithfulness is possible for us when we are wholly dependent on Him. His faithfulness surrounds His throne. Enthrone Him in your heart, and it will surround you, too.

Psalm 23

“Goodness is something so simple: always live for others, never seek one’s own advantage.” -Dag Hammarskjold

IN WORD For something to be worthwhile in our age, it must be amazing, outstanding, remarkable, or awesome. we are so overwhelmed with superlatives that we [...]]]> “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.” Psalm 23:6

Psalm 23

“Goodness is something so simple: always live for others, never seek one’s own advantage.”
-Dag Hammarskjold

IN WORD For something to be worthwhile in our age, it must be amazing, outstanding, remarkable, or awesome. we are so overwhelmed with superlatives that we must keep coming up with more attention-grabbing adjectives with each new season of advertising. But God ofter advertises Himself in refreshing simplicity. He is good. Through and through, pure and simple, He is good. His attitude toward us is good, His will toward us is good, and His works on our behalf are good. We are unaccustomed to pure forms in our world–everything is tainted with corruption–but with God, no superlative is necessary. From any angle we look at Him, we see goodness.

There’s a remarkable transformation for us in His goodness. God blesses so that His people will become blessers. He gives so that we will give. He loves so we will love. He forgives so we forgive. His demeanor toward us is to be reflected in our demeanor toward others. It isn’t just a responsibility to fulfill; it’s a natural reaction. When we’ve been treated so well, it’s natural to treat others well. His goodness takes root in us; we become good, like Him.

IN DEED Most of us are busy trying to impress others with a remarkable personality, amazing skills, or our outstanding achievements. God’s Spirit in us, however, will not make us flashy. He will make us good.

If others do not see in us a simple, uncorrupted goodness, they do not see the Spirit of God. We forget that behind every miracle, behind every teaching, behind every revelation and prophecy, there is the goodwill of God. Goodness underlies everything He does. He is a beneficent Creator, and a beneficent Creator births beneficent children. Do you bear His goodness? Demonstrate it to someone today. Show your world what God is like.